Tuesday, January 27

Delightful Da(y)ze!


Hear baby crying.

Pat him so that he goes back to sleep.

Baby won't sleep.

Check the time. Two hours since his last feed.

Get up groggily. Feed him.

Get him to burp.

Settle him back in his cozy blanket.

Lie down and snooze.

Baby whimpers. Cuddle him.

Check if he's warm enough.

Put another sheet over him.

Baby keeps waving his legs and arms.

Check if he's cold. Remove the sheet. It's quite warm today.

Whisper softly in his ears so that he calms down and sleeps.

Go back to sleep myself.

Hear baby crying. Check the time. Feed him.

Burp him.

Realise it is time to change his diaper.

Scramble to the cupboard. Trip over slipper. Mutter an obscenity. Get a diaper and change him.

Crawl back into the blanket and pray for uninterrupted sleep.

Wide awake now.

Stare at ceiling.

Check cell phone for Whatsapp messages.

No messages.

Check Whatsapp status and profile pictures of contacts.

Wonder if baby needs to feed.

Keep phone away and try to sleep.

Blanket too heavy. Push foot out for some air. Too cold, pull foot back in.

Consider switching on the fan. Decide against it.

Try to sleep.

Pick up cell phone again. Check Facebook. Nothing interesting. Put phone back.

Look at baby sleeping blissfully. Give him a flying kiss.

Shut eyes.

Lapse into a dream.

Baby bawls.

Spring up and gather him in the arms. Rock him till he sleeps. Faint next to him.

Wake up. Baby has to nurse.

Say good morning and watch his adorable smile.

Thank God for the little bundle of joy. Feed him.

Burp him.

Baby won't burp.

Sit him up and rock him.

Baby burps.

Fall back asleep.

Get up to mum's call and swallow a glass of milk.

Sleep.

Get up again and nurse baby.

Finally decide to wake up since it's almost noon already.

Chat with mom.

See baby playing on the bed.

Shake a rattle.

Have a face making contest with baby and accept defeat.

Forget that you've had a bad night. Hold baby close.

Hear mum cribbing about not having meals on time affecting baby's health.

Rush to the bathroom.

Get ready. Have lunch.

Baby cries midway. Get up to nurse.

Mum says food will go cold. Quickly gobble the last few bites.

Rush to baby. Feed him. Burp him. Kiss him when he does.

Baby passes stinky air. Screw nose and laugh out loud with mom.

Watch baby dozing. Admire his frowns and smiles.

Wonder how many joys and sorrows he will give once he grows up.

Imagine how he grew inside you for 9 months.

Touch his soft, shiny cheek in awe.

Feel motherhood well up inside.

Blink back tears.

Change nappy. 

Talk to mom about random stuff.

Check FB and Whatsapp.

Reply to text messages and return missed calls.

Look at beautiful sleeping baby and feel proud to have him in your life.

Have a cup of tea.

Think about what your friends and husband must be doing.

Feel a little angry that your life has paused and changed while others are living their routines and dreams.

Curse husband for not calling or caring about you or baby.

Husband calls. Feel a surge of love.

Miss husband.

Listen to baby cooing and gurgling in the other room.

Go to him and play for a while.

See if he is hungry. He is.

Take him to the other room to nurse.

Baby is not hungry anymore. 

Follow his enthralled gaze.

Watch him chatter with the curtain.

Pick up a book lying unread on the shelf for 3 months. Read a page. Forget the context, turn a few pages to recall the story. 

Glance at baby. 

See him looking back at you with big brown eyes.

Keep book away. 

Feed him. Get him to burp.

Realize nappy needs a change.

Debate with self whether baby will need to nurse again.

Consider going for a walk. Need to lose weight and get back in shape.

Get dressed.

Wonder if you should really leave baby and go.

Decide to go at mum's insistence.

Return feeling guilty in 45 minutes.

Hug baby like you haven't seen him all week.

Freshen up. Feed baby. Burp him.

Play with him.

Change wet nappy.

Grab a fruit.

Pacify crying baby.

Finish half eaten apple.

Feed baby. Burp him.

Baby does not burp. Try again.

Baby still does not burp.

Check Facebook and Whatsapp groups to see what other moms are going through.

Baby burps on his own.

Bless him. Give him a peck.

Time for dinner.

Realise you have barely drunk water all day. Down half a bottle.

Switch on tv.

Find nothing worth watching.

Switch off tv.

Talk gibberish with baby.

Wonder if he naps and feeds as much as he ought to.

Have some dinner.

Start watching favorite show on TV.

Get up midway to feed hungry baby.

Burp him.

Change his nappy and clothes.

Get him ready for bed.

Baby starts crying. Sing him a song.

Baby still cranky. Sing him a rhyme.

Baby refuses to calm down. Sing gayatri mantra, Hanuman Chalisa and Ram Raksha in quick succession.

Baby calms down.

Get angry with husband for not being more involved in our life.

Rock baby till he falls asleep.

Lie down next to him.

Touch his little fingers and fondle his pretty head.

Be happy to have him.

Promise him the world.

Talk to mom till she falls asleep.

Prepare to go to bed.

See a missed call from the husband. Call him back.

Brush teeth and go to bed.

Baby wakes up hungry.

Feed and burp him.

Lie down praying for a peaceful night.

*********************

A day in my life.

*********************

Cheerio!
A 2.5 month old mother
Aka Princess
:-) 

Monday, January 5

The First Few

Happy New Year 2015 amigos!!

Writing the date for the initial couple of times will be a task as our mind keeps recalling the year as 2014. However, that shall soon come to pass. Exactly like how a few other things get easier with time and practice.

I've gained enormously due to my pregnancy and the weight remains worrisome post delivery. At least I and my doctors think so; the ladies in the family aren't done stuffing me with fattening foodstuffs that will "miraculously cure my aches and benefit me in the long run". Not only that, they are strictly against my resuming any sort of exercise for the coming months. Thank God I ain't the obedient and superstitious types.

In reality, I need to go for long runs and get back in shape. Round isn't the preferred shape for me. Yet.

As I was dressing up all geared up for my walk, scarcely did I realise how tough it would be starting an exercise regimen. We get used to the easy life surprisingly fast, as I was discussing with my better half the other day; nothing is as simple as eating, sleeping and faffing away.

I have always been the fit and fine types, and I used to walk briskly even during my pregnancy, much to the agony of my colleagues in the final trimester. Yet, the first few days I went for a walk were not what I'd call a piece of cake. My legs were heavy as lead and I had a stitch in my side within the first ten minutes. I could have stopped then and hopped back home without any worry or blame, but I knew that if I did, I would never manage to achieve my goal. I persevered and I'm happy to say that I look and feel fitter in the last few days than I did before.

The first few times are always tough. Then things get easier.

If you give up in the first go, remember it will seem even more daunting.

Life with a baby also falls under the same category. Getting used to not putting yourself first and trying to comprehend the needs and complaints of your newborn is an experience like none other. I've gone absolutely nuts in the first month unsure if I'd be able to cope with motherhood. Now when I look at my 50 day old angel, I know those sleepless nights and frustrated moments were all worth it. And it will get better with time...

Relationships, they aren't an exception either. The first few days, especially of a couple who have married for love, are difficult I'm my opinion. Your entire life and perspective changes. What seemed cute earlier becomes irritating and one wonders why he or she decided to take the plunge at all. But rest assured, life gets better once you understand and accept each other. At least that's how it was for me and my husband. Not that now we're the epitome of a perfect married couple, but we sure aren't doing too poorly either.

When the going gets tough, the tough get going. Just remember to hang in there. Never mind what you're going through, it will get easier. Keep the faith.
God bless you and me, too.

Cheerio!
Princess

Sunday, December 14

It is NOT your business

Hello readers!

So my darling husband (upon my repeated insistence) very generously read my last post lovingly written for him and his (only) reaction was that I have lost my writing spark and I am out of practice.

He obviously did not pay heed to the fact that I wrote the post more on an emotional and nostalgic plane than as a literary artefact.

But never mind that. He never was the romantic and mushy types anyway. As much as I would love to read something that he has written for me, his reading what I have penned is enough. After all, he does take care of me and pamper me in most ways feasible. He’s not a bad chap... Just different.  

Well, he’s become a dad and I’ve become a mom and while I can’t say it’s perfect yet (we’re still in the phase where we’re dealing with changing nappies and feeding and dealing with the cranky infant 24x7), it sure is a memorable time. Memories good and not so good. The good ones involve the baby obviously. The not so good ones are about nosy people and their gross insensitivity.

I have never really been fond of guests and relatives for the simple reason that most people I am related or acquainted with are selfish, greedy buggers. They couldn’t care less about me or my family and are only to be seen when they need or stand to acquire something. Obviously now that I have had a baby, it is common courtesy that they come to see me. The incentive is what is known as “badhaai” which literally means congratulations, but is synonymous with a gift (cash or any costly object) that the grandparents give as a token of happiness to people who visit.

Anyway, I shall choose to ignore that tiny (nauseating) detail, and focus on the more annoying bit - their stupid, intrusive questions.

First of all, I fail to grasp why people are interested in the mode of delivery. A normal, healthy baby has arrived in this world; rejoice! Why do you want to know how he came? Whether he was delivered normally or through a C section is none of anybody’s business. And even if your inquisitiveness cannot be reined in, at least do not react or comment when you receive the information! You really have nothing to lose or gain either way.

An increasing number of deliveries across the world are cesarean, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. All of us need to understand that it is either the mother’s choice (or the lack thereof) that decides this aspect. Most women I think would opt and try their best for a normal delivery but circumstances may require a change in plans. Like it happened in my case, and with a few of my colleagues and friends. And then there are those that voluntarily go for a c section given the number of complications that accompany a normal delivery: a displaced uterus (or other organs), episiotomy, excessive bleeding, etc.

I repeat, either way, it is none of anybody’s business. Except the mother, her caretaker and the doctor. What is destined will happen, what is best for the mother and baby needs to be done. That’s all that matters – the mother and baby. Nobody else.

So really, behaving like somebody’s died or something very unfortunate has occurred is not warranted. Not in public, and especially not in front of the mother and family. It is highly derogatory and irritating.

Second, people inspect the baby as if they are authorized personnel trained for this task, and then make snide comments about things like their features, body parts, hair and weight. Gawd! Don’t you friggin understand that the baby is the most beautiful creature on earth for the family, and nothing will change their perception irrespective of what anyone says?! Try and be appreciative of the baby and mother, and if that is not possible, forever hold your silence! Again, whether the baby has more hair on his head or less, and whether his nose is crooked or not is NOT YOUR BUSINESS.

Unless you are sponsoring his cosmetic surgeries.

Third, and this is the most irksome bit: people asking questions like “how come your stomach is still showing?” and “are you getting enough milk?”


WHAT???


How can you ask these questions???


No really…. HOW???


What are you going to do with both these answers?

I would really be grateful if people only said “take care” and f*cked off. My tummy (big or small) is my concern, and the adequacy of my milk is my baby’s problem. Both of which I shall capably and successfully solve, thank you very much. We will not blame you, and we will not come asking for your milk, rest assured. Your interference and officiousness is truly NOT necessary.  

All of these issues are highly personal, and can only be shared between people who are intimate. As a visitor, one needs to only meet and congratulate, wish well and leave. A baby is a miracle, and a new mother is fragile and exhausted. Cut both of them some slack and watch what you say or do. Why enquire and hurt someone when it is really not your business?

And trust me, it is NOT your business at all.

As I end this post, I request you to not behave this way if you have in the past. Anytime you feel the itchiness to ask these questions or make random comments, please chant this mantra…


It is NOT my business.


It is NOT my business.


It is NOT my business.


Thrice repeated slowly and honestly should be enough to calm your meddlesome mind.   

Janhit mein jaari.
(=Issued in public interest)


Best,
First-time Mommy aka Princess 

Friday, November 28

You're a Pa, Mate!

Hi Sweetheart,

Welcome to Fatherhood!

You’re an incredible person, and I can think of a hundred reasons why I love you.

Yeah yah, I know you don’t believe in having reasons to love somebody, but then you and I disagree on so many things; let this be another pleasant one… Just so that I can find ways to praise you and express how much I adore you. I never tire of it, and I don’t think you have any reason to do so either. “Neki aur pooch pooch” as they say in Hindi.

I have known you as a very different person as compared to the rest of the world. True, you are charming and you manage to awe both men and women alike. (Something that really worries me, given that people confuse gentlemanliness for flirting in the current century.)

However, it is my perception that you have given me a special privilege to know you as you are, and you keep a slightly more opaque exterior to the rest of humanity. Let me be blissful in this ignorance if I am mistaken.

I met an uptight, serious man while working at IBM nearly 4 years ago who left absolutely no impression on me. Since we were in the same team and cab, I struck a polite conversation with you, and was sort of surprised to learn that you could talk nonstop to an almost stranger about something I consider quite personal. Scarcely did I realize that you thought I was hitting on you! That was the last thing on my mind; I was only trying to be friendly to a new team-mate. But that is how destiny shapes up, right? Misunderstandings lead to new beginnings...

One thing led to another and I found myself chatting with you on IBM Sametime and going on coffee breaks with you – something that raised more than a few eyebrows in our gossip-crazy VnA team. I knew there was nothing between us, you barely spoke and I did not find much in common with you. But you knew that something would definitely happen – something I got to know much later. Your intuition is appreciable, young man. Keep it up.

We started meeting outside of work, you made special effort to meet me on my birthday; I knew something was in the air. You asked me out, and I said I needed time. You waited for all of 8 months as I made up my mind and on October 17, 2011, I decided I was ready to be yours.

That was not the end of it; it was actually the beginning of our struggle.

Neither of our parents was thrilled about our decision, for their own reasons. I still remember vividly how I tried to win your dad over on phone while you paced around listening to our dialogue in the University of Pune garden at dusk. You came over in a brave attempt to convince my parents, and I still marvel at your courage and straightforwardness. Phew... you've got balls, young man!

Countless strategizing sessions and convincing conversations later, we managed to win the support of my family, while yours remained hostile. That did not deter you, and you kept insisting we elope. Now I think, maybe we should have! It would be another adventure in our awesome journey together....

Amidst honor killing threats, we dealt with our own sweet and bitter fights. I got to know you better, and it was like knowing someone entirely different from the person I had first met… 

To cut a long story short, things kind of worked out and I found myself getting ready for our big day. June 29, 2012 we got married and started a new chapter in our lives. It was just like the movies – we won some, we lost some, we got better and sometimes we got worse. We annoyed and impressed and hurt and loved and disappointed and frustrated each other. 

Some days were just unbearable, and others were a delight. We created great and not so good memories and we learnt pleasant habits and hard lessons. But all the while, we stuck together and got stronger.   

We are so dissimilar, you and I. And yet, we stand united for all the things that truly matter. 

We crossed so many hurdles, both personal and professional, and we fulfilled so many dreams, both individual and shared. Buying bikes and a house and car, traveling within and outside the country, both of us getting promoted at work, and so many other milestones in our topsy-turvy lives… Well done, baby.

All those superb bike rides to CCD Chandni Chowk and back at dawn, wandering in the Goan streets for Lavazza coffee and warm apple pie, endless shopping trips in Phoenix mall and camp, our Mabi honeymoon and Kerala escapade, Baskin Robbin and Venky’s chicken cravings, fixations with sizzlers at Prem’s and Bounty’s… hours seem few when I think of you and the wondrous memories you’ve given me. They stay interspersed with the wicked moments where you and I upset each other, misunderstood and isolated each other… All the while, knowing true and well that we would always be together… But then doubting that too…   

You took care of me when I had my eye surgery done and I got a chance to pamper you when you banged your head against a truck and fractured your arm. All those countless times you took me on midnight dates before and post marriage and all the innumerable occasions when you fell ill and made me fret. When I was about to deliver our precious child, you held my hand through the unbearable pain and gave me strength. It was touching to see my agony reflected in your pretty eyes.

We have done well and we could only have done it together, no matter how much you and I highlighted (or minimized) our individual roles in these events when the going got tough.
And now, here we are, with yet another milestone in our lives. Probably the biggest one till date, I can say.

Our baby arrived into this world on November 15, 2014 and made us a family from just a bickering, love-struck couple. My passion for you has increased with this upgrade, and words fail me as I begin to thank you for taking such amazing care of me during my pregnancy. True, it wasn’t all rosy and idyllic, but I will certainly recall it with much warmth and happiness. You tried to make me happy and pampered me like a little girl. Thank you.
We now have a new identity, we are now proud parents of our little bundle of joy. This blessing, this gorgeous miracle is god’s gift to us and I am sure he is just as lucky to have us as we are to have him. We have great things planned for him, and he has brought good fortune to both our families while he was still in my tummy. With him gracing this world, I rejoice that all our lives will get happier and more satisfying.   

Thank you for giving me this lovely present – this beautiful ray of sunshine which will brighten our days and lives. It will be tough at times, but I am sure we will cope up brilliantly just like we have done in the past.

I love you Akhilesh Singh, and you’re a wonderful man… don’t you forget that, even when I am abusing the s*it out of you during my moody witch moments.  

I know you will be a better husband and father every passing day, and both Arush and I are glad to have you in our lives.

Stay happy, my darling. I will love you till the end of time, and later too.

Just yours for eternity…
Through phases of affection and squabbles…


Love,
Anuja   

Monday, October 27

I am...

Hiya!

I am laughing at silly things until tears roll down my cheeks. 

I am getting heavier and life is getting a tad tougher.

I am forgetting things; for someone as organized and reliable as me, this can be quite disturbing.

I am finding it difficult to sleep, and yet I can nap at most times. 

I am getting clumsier by the minute, dropping things and tripping and slipping for no apparent cause.

I can't concentrate, and I drift away into nothingness ever so often. 

I am finding the simplest of actions is turning out to be a challenge.

I am becoming more of a sweet tooth than usual, yearning for chocolates and sweets and ice creams every other day.  

I am sweating like I never have before, and I find the coolest rooms warm. 

I am able to control my temper a wee bit better, but I also get emotional and detached at times. 

I am more careful about my exercise routine, but I cheat on my drinks and junk food. 

I think my hearing and vision has slightly diminished, and my sensitivity has slightly increased. 

I get tearsome at the tiniest of stuff - when something is genuine, when someone is upset, when I am touched or hurt, or just about anything at all. 

I am meeting more and more pregnant people. 

I am being pampered by family, and my friends and colleagues are taking good care of me,

I am excited... and nervous... and scared... and hopeful. 

All at the same time. 

I am not going to be a child anymore, though my kiddishness will remain intact and become even more expressed now. 

I am 9+ months pregnant, and going to be a mommy soon!!

It's a new world, and a new experience. 

I am loving this feeling, this warmth, this affection and softness inside me.

Wish me luck! 


Cheerio!
Princess